New test for imagrants

Back by popular demand!!!
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UnReaL
May the GAY be with you
Posts: 339
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2005 6:57 pm
Location: Porksmouth - England

This made me laugh,
now we just have to get rid of the current generation and were all english again :D

This is the test that immagrants will have to sit (not these exact questions, these were just some examples)

I only got 5 right

1) Which TWO telephone numbers can be used to dial the emergency services?

2) If you were the first visitor of the new year to a Scottish home, what might you be expected to bring?

3) What is the Queen's official role?

4) Who is the spiritual head of the Church of England?

5) When was Britain last invaded?

6) Which type of court uses a jury system?

7) When are the Patron Saints' Days of the four countries of the UK?

8) Where can people register births?

9) Who chairs the proceedings in the house of commons?

10) How often is a census taken in Britain?





















ANSWERS

1) 112 + 999
2) Coal, bread and whisky to ensure prosperity
3) Head of State
4) The Archbishop of Canterbury, currently Rowan Williams.
5) 1066, although, there was a failed invasion in 1797 in Fishguard by French forces.
6) A Crown Court.
7) England: St George's Day, April 23rd
Wales: St David's Day, March 1st
Northern Ireland: St Patrick's Day, March 17th
Scotland: St Andrew's Day, November 30th.
8) Usually at the hospital or if not at the local register office within 42 days of the birth.
9) The Speaker.
10) Every 10 years


I got 3 4 5 8 and 9 right :lol:
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LuMbErJaCk
CopyCat
Posts: 365
Joined: Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:12 am
STEAM: wolvcast
Location: Netherlands
Contact:

I only got 1 right so it's best I stay on the good side of the pond :D
elpopo

only got one too... guess :p
Hervig

By those answers, 6... :lol:



Plus the answer to #2 could well be "Luck"!!!

And Bonnie Prince Charlie (1720-88) got to Derby when he invaded England...
So #5 is definitely NOT 1066, even if ya don't count the Moors kidnapping entire Cornish villages!!! :p
CuZ
Wirralian Git
Wirralian Git
Posts: 566
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:56 pm
Location: Drying out at Betty Fords

Hervig wrote: And Bonnie Prince Charlie (1720-88) got to Derby when he invaded England...
So #5 is definitely NOT 1066 :p
Poor [b*stard]; imagine the scene...
Its a cold December day in 1745, and your main impression of the land u are trying to conquer is Derby...
No wonder they turned around... :lol:

Also they arent counting the Shingle Street invasion of 1940

Only got 1 and 7 wrong...
StGeorges and Paddies are easy but I can never remember the other two minor Sts.... :p
Proving since 2004 that winning has nothing to do with not dying or the ability to shoot [sh*t] ...
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Its all about choosing the right side!!! :D
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Porky
The Dentist
The Dentist
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:48 am
STEAM: Porky_69
Location: Marooned in denmark

I've been deported :shock:
Welsh
Bruce's Biatch
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:47 pm
STEAM: welshclown
Location: Swansea>>>Wales!!!

UnReaL wrote:now we just have to get rid of the current generation and were all english again :D

This is the test that immagrants will have to sit

I personally believe that people who consistently spell immigrants wrong should be banned....... :?
umbongo(uk)
YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
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Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:48 am
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ORIGIN: umbongo21

1) Which TWO telephone numbers can be used to dial the emergency services?

a:999 and a large spotlight with a bat emblem on it

2) If you were the first visitor of the new year to a Scottish home, what might you be expected to bring?
A:4 tins of tennants extra and 20 smoke,s

3) What is the Queen's official role?
A:badger baiter and ferret champion

4) Who is the spiritual head of the Church of England?
A:king henry iv and roy rogers

5) When was Britain last invaded?
A:its a continual thing as the french have lost the keys to their side of the channel tunnel

6) Which type of court uses a jury system?
A:pop idol

7) When are the Patron Saints' Days of the four countries of the UK?
A:who care,s there all dead

8) Where can people register births?
A:at the local corner shop (they do everything there nowadays)

9) Who chairs the proceedings in the house of commons?
A:henry winkler eeeeegggghhhh!!!

10) How often is a census taken in Britain?
A:thatll be the letter i got 10 years ago and is still in the cuboard
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