Joke
-
umbongo(uk)
- YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
- Posts: 1084
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:48 am
- STEAM: konradski
- ORIGIN: umbongo21
fpmsl
-
umbongo(uk)
- YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
- Posts: 1084
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:48 am
- STEAM: konradski
- ORIGIN: umbongo21
lol brummies,southners, taffs n scousers all in one go enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whzjxl2gys4
part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtAYa7uPUUo
srry for dp
go to their website for taff wars starwars parodie in the valleys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whzjxl2gys4
part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtAYa7uPUUo
srry for dp
go to their website for taff wars starwars parodie in the valleys
-
umbongo(uk)
- YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
- Posts: 1084
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:48 am
- STEAM: konradski
- ORIGIN: umbongo21
lol once twice 3 spamms a ladie...........
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. ‘Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
'No,' she says, 'they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.'
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. ‘Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
'No,' she says, 'they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.'
-
IceT-Bag
- [22ndSAS] Server Admin
![[22ndSAS] Server Admin](./images/ranks/level6.gif "[22ndSAS] Server Admin")
- Posts: 1961
- Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:46 am
- STEAM: icetbag
- ORIGIN: IceTBag
- UPLAY: IceT-Bag
- Location: UK
The Australian Gold Coast Surf Classic event was won this weekend under controversial circumstances.....by a Burmese man on a wardrobe
The best defence against software piracy is producing a game worth buying.
-
umbongo(uk)
- YoRkShIrE StRiPpEr
- Posts: 1084
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:48 am
- STEAM: konradski
- ORIGIN: umbongo21
fpmsl
Whats blue and [f*cks] old grannies?
Hypothermia
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?
-Christopher Reeves after his house burns down
Theres an englishman, an irishman, and a scotsman, running away from the police, they run down a back alley and theres three sacks, so they all jump in a sack and the policemen come along kick the first sack and the scotsman inside says 'woof' so they think it must be a dog and kick the second sack, the englishman inside says 'meow' so they think it must be a cat and kick the third sack, and the irishman inside says 'potatoes'.
Whats blue and [f*cks] old grannies?
Hypothermia
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?
-Christopher Reeves after his house burns down
Theres an englishman, an irishman, and a scotsman, running away from the police, they run down a back alley and theres three sacks, so they all jump in a sack and the policemen come along kick the first sack and the scotsman inside says 'woof' so they think it must be a dog and kick the second sack, the englishman inside says 'meow' so they think it must be a cat and kick the third sack, and the irishman inside says 'potatoes'.
-
Porky
- The Dentist
- Posts: 1858
- Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:48 am
- STEAM: Porky_69
- Location: Marooned in denmark
ok enuff welsh bashing....back to the scousers :P
Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!
Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!
-
IceT-Bag
- [22ndSAS] Server Admin
- Posts: 1961
- Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:46 am
- STEAM: icetbag
- ORIGIN: IceTBag
- UPLAY: IceT-Bag
- Location: UK
News Flash:
All sperm banks in Manchester will be closed next wednesday as all the wankers will be in Moscow
All sperm banks in Manchester will be closed next wednesday as all the wankers will be in Moscow
The best defence against software piracy is producing a game worth buying.
-
Porky
- The Dentist
- Posts: 1858
- Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:48 am
- STEAM: Porky_69
- Location: Marooned in denmark
derbys turn 
A primary teacher starts a new job in the Midlands and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Derby County fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Derby fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: “Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?“
"Because I'm not a Derby fan miss,“ she replies.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: “Well, if you're not a Derby fan, then who are you a fan of?“
"I'm a Forest fan, and proud of it,“ Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Forest fan?“
"Because my mum and dad are from Nottingham, and my mum is a Forest fan, my dad is a Forest fan, so I'm a Forest fan too!“
“Well,“ said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, “that's no reason for you to be a Forest fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time! What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief? What would you be then?“
"Then,“ Mary smiled, “I'd be a Derby fan...“
A primary teacher starts a new job in the Midlands and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Derby County fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Derby fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: “Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?“
"Because I'm not a Derby fan miss,“ she replies.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: “Well, if you're not a Derby fan, then who are you a fan of?“
"I'm a Forest fan, and proud of it,“ Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Forest fan?“
"Because my mum and dad are from Nottingham, and my mum is a Forest fan, my dad is a Forest fan, so I'm a Forest fan too!“
“Well,“ said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, “that's no reason for you to be a Forest fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time! What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief? What would you be then?“
"Then,“ Mary smiled, “I'd be a Derby fan...“